Getting stoned on Thanksgiving around your family can be one of the guiltiest pleasures for any cannabis enthusiast. Smoking weed on this holiday of indulgence makes everything better, from the food to the conversation with family members you disagree with. But weed has the potential to turn an excellent Thanksgiving dinner into a complete disaster if you get caught, get too stoned, or a combination of either.
So to help you out this Thanksgiving season, we put together the ultimate guide for getting stoned on Thanksgiving. In this article, we will cover everything from the best ways to smoke before dinner to how to recruit fellow tokers into the celebration and even clever ways to sneak out of the house for the iconic Thanksgiving walk before dinner. So let’s dive in…
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The Best Methods For Smoking At Thanksgiving
Everyone has ways that they love to toke up, but today the situation is different. On Thanksgiving, so many more variables are at play compared to an average stoner session on the couch with Netflix. So choosing your preferred method to smoke and chief up might be different than your usual tried and true ways.
Let’s dive into the three best ways to get stoned on Thanksgiving.
While smoking a big bowl isn’t always the most discrete way to smoke in the world, the communal factor of it can be an excellent way for everyone to enjoy the infamous Thanksgiving Walk. Smoking a bowl of flowers is a great way to establish the amount you want to smoke, share the bowl with family members, and not overdo it (at least on purpose).
The downside is that smoking a bowl lets up a large cloud of smoke, so it’s not the sneakiest option available. Don’t smoke flowers indoors or around your family if you don’t want them to know you’re getting stoned before dinner. Between the smell, the red eyes, and the cloud of smoke, the likelihood of you getting caught is much higher.
Vape and oil pens are the best way to smoke without getting caught. Their smell fades quickly, they produce almost no smoke, and you can take a single hit at a time. A pen is my favorite way to get stoned around my family during Thanksgiving, and I know I am not alone in thinking this.
The downside, though, is that vapes can’t be trusted. Your vape, sure… but if you’re taking a hit off your cousin’s pen, you rarely know what you’re getting into. It could have an insanely. high concentration or be a whisper of CBD. You truly never know. So when in doubt, bring your vape pen. If anything, it will be an excellent backup to your bowl and a convenient way to take a quick hit in the bathroom between courses.
If you’re looking to get a little crazy this Thanksgiving, edibles are the way to go. Are they the most responsible way to get stoned before dinner? Probably not. But they will keep you sustained throughout the evening and make conversing with your hyper-conservative grandma semi-enjoyable.
We will discuss this a bit later, but I cannot advise enough about the dangers of getting too stoned at Thanksgiving. Edibles are a quick way to overdue it also, so if you go this route, do your research to ensure you don’t get too blitzed.
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How To Bring It Up
It can be challenging to broach the topic of cannabis use with family members, especially if they have opposing views on the subject. An excellent way to approach the conversation is to inquire about their thoughts on recent marijuana legalization. This can give you a sense of whether or not they would be open to trying it themselves. Remember that it is essential to respect their wishes even if they are opposed to the idea – let them know that many individuals have benefited from using cannabis and that it is a safer alternative to alcohol.
The younger you are, often the easier it is to play off the fact that you “occasionally” smoke.. even if “occasionally” by your standards is “only once or twice every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
If you’re desperate for a chief partner, be more open than you normally would about the “couple of times you’ve tried it.” You might find a couple of leads that way as suddenly your quiet uncle Stan chimes in, saying that he tried it a couple of times in college but hasn’t since (bonus points if he follows that up by saying he wishes somebody around the house had a dime bag, no them).
You know your own family better than I do, so only you know the amount of tact and discretionary measures required to see who is down to take the iconic Thanksgiving walk…
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Tips For Taking The Thanksgiving Walk
Pulling off a successful Thanksgiving walk isn’t as easy as it seems. Here are a few tips we’ve found to be successful when you want to sneak off unnoticed or take a quick walk to toke up before the big feast.
Don’t Get Too Stoned
This one should be obvious, but the consequences of getting too blitzed are severe enough that it bears repeating. Getting too stoned is hard to come back from and can leave you quiet, awkward, and overly ravenous, making you stick out like a sore thumb around the dinner table.
Remember that getting more stoned is always easier than getting less stoned, so tread extra lightly during your Thanksgiving walk.
Establish A Language
Once you have established your holiday smoking crew, come up with code words that can signify when you need to re-up your high or when it’s time to take a walk.
The window of opportunity when you can leave unnoticed and sneak in one more gift toke before the meal could happen at a moment’s notice, and having a couple of key catchphrases to signify when those moments are can be critical to a successful Thanksgiving walk.
Keep The Exit Brief
Avoid complex reasons for leaving as if you spend five minutes developing this elaborate story about how your cousin needs an extra jar of mayonnaise for a recipe they need to start now. You can only get the mayo from the store on the other side of town that stocks the yadda yadda yadda, that will raise red flags.
Say things like “oh nothing!” or “Bee-Are-Bee Mom,” and don’t give your family a second to question your reasons or motives. You’ll be gone in a flash and toking it up shortly after.
Timing Is Everything
During Thanksgiving, there is usually a ton going on, and most people around your house will be focused on their own thing and not your planned exit. But still, timing can make the difference on whether you’re busted or get a chance to toke before the big meal.
Watch for windows where your family is most occupied. Check the oven timer for when your mom will be taking a big dish out of the oven, watch the clock on the game and plan your excursion during a big moment during the football game, and more. It is this distraction that will make all the difference.
Not being seen when you leave is always preferred over not being seen when you enter back in. It’s always easier to say that you just poked out to the car to bring something in if nobody knew that you left a half hour ago.
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How To Deal With Weed Paranoia During Thanksgiving
Cannabis use can potentially cause paranoia and panic in some cases. The latter is often set off by the former. I have witnessed a few people who “lost their marbles” on weed during my years of smoking cannabis and engaging with the user base. Thanksgiving stress can also bring strange reactions to your everyday weed enjoyment.
What do you do when you feel the “Grim Reefer” revealing yourself to yourself? The first thing you should do is remove yourself from whatever is going on in your immediate environment. A change of scenery and fresh air should help alleviate your symptoms, whether at a party or alone. The simple act of “leaving the scene” can be enough to shift you back to a more resourceful state.
If you are not feeling your best, with anxiety and a weird feeling in your belly, start breathing slowly with controlled breath retentions. You’re forcing your autonomic nervous system to switch from sympathetic (fight/flight/fear/fold) to parasympathetic (rest/digest/reproduce). Inhale deeply for a few seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds, and breathe out slowly for eight seconds. Repeat this at least ten times. Afterward, notice if you feel any better.
This provides a slight interruption in your typical reaction to the situation. After concentrating on your breath for a few minutes, go back to the feeling that is bothering you. Take a moment to notice how it feels; describe it without getting involved emotionally. For example, say things like “it feels like X or Y.” Then see where it is located in your body. Is it in your neck, chest, or stomach? Do you have pain in your back, or are your muscles having spasms? What’s the intensity — is there a rhythm to it?
This exercise is beneficial in multiple ways. Firstly, it keeps your mind occupied with “observing” instead of “participating in the madness.” Secondly, it allows you to focus your attention on specific areas. If you want to go deeper, you can ask questions like, “When was the last time I felt something like this?” and then wait in silence for an answer.
It may take a few attempts to quiet the mind, but once you find peace, it will lead you to safe waters.